| | When I was twelve or thirteen, I read Pilgrim’s Progress all the way through, and it was a little beyond what I can handle. For starters, I was reading the original version, not one put into modern English. Emotionally, it was even more trying--I was filled with horror by the time I finished. With all those overwhelming dangers and obstacles that the book said faces a Christian, and all those temptations to turn back, what if I didn’t make it? What if the tests were so hard I would some day give up the journey? Surely it would be better to never exist. That was not the first time that I feared for the certainty of my eternal place with God. Each such experience of serious doubt shook me to the core for fear of missing the Kingdom of God. My only comfort was the assurances of my Baptist parents that salvation is permanent. Still, I was for years uncertain. What about Matthew 12:32, or Hebrews 6:4-6? I am too frail to believe that any transgression is beyond me. The devil once took great advantage of this frailty, and my immature understanding of those verses, doing everything possible to convince me that I had indeed done the unpardonable and lost my salvation forever. During that time, all I can say is that, though I thought I was no longer saved (there was evidence and logic to back this up), I somehow knew I was, though I scarcely dared to acknowledge it. What I told myself, to keep from killing myself, was there was not point in going to hell any sooner than necessary. But the only thing that really made life bearable in that dark time was a belief, deeper though unfortunately less perceptible than the logic, that somehow God was still holding on to me. Otherwise, I could never have borne the thought that I had lost all that is hope and goodness, that I was separated from everything worth living for. Those experiences brought me to the point that I must believe that salvation is irrevocable, because the alternative is far too terrifying. I think that to say that salvation is insecure is to cheapen it. After all, can a new creation of God’s be unmade by me? Jesus was raised never to die again—if we have His life, how could we die? Indeed, the Bible describes the new life of salvation with words like “immortal” “incorruptible” “eternal.” Additionally, God makes with man a very particular type of relationship—a covenant. Covenants were recognized by ancient cultures to be the most solemn, unbreakable, everlasting relationships possible. They were understood to be stronger than family relationships and all other duties, unbreakable by life or death. God Himself was invoked to enforce it. So in my view, God did not spill the blood of His only Son to initiate the most sacred bond in the universe so we can walk out of it at any time. We sing that His grace is greater than all our sin—it was enough to initially forgive us and bring us into a relationship with Him, and it is enough to maintain it, however we fall. My relationship with God is secure, because I am already forgiven of every sin I will every commit. I know the arguments to the contrary: faith without works is dead, so if someone is no longer showing works, his faith has died. I know there are those who have walked away from Christianity. All I can say to that is, I believe they will either come back, or they never really belonged to Christ to begin with (1 John 2:19). The Most High keeps my soul. I certainly cannot keep myself in Him; but I am persuaded that He can (2 Tim. 1:12). His lovingkindness prevails over me (Psalm 117:2). No one can snatch me from my Shepherd’s hand (John 10: 27-29), and nothing can separate me from His love (Romans 8: 35-39). |
